AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!! My feet!!!

Just got back from practice. My feet are aching. Practice went well. A lot of good ideas were exercised & we made it through two new songs. I really think the band is starting to come together. Imagine... it only took two years. That's about on par for any non-pro band I'd think.

So I wonder if we're doing what Pastor Chuck said and taking this whole church thing too cautiously.
The root word for "Halleliujah" is Hebrew... it's Halal.
It's meaning is long, but it also includes, "act foolishly or clamorously" like David did when he stripped off his Kingly robes and danced before God. Kings are supposed to be dignified, but David had other plans when it came to God. I guess David had enough of dignity and wanted to show God that all the kingly robes meant nothing before the King of Kings.

I really got into music tonight. I usually try to stay a little reserved so I can help maintain the rhythm of the music & when to come in, etc... but tonight was a little different. Once everyone got the song, we really started zoning in. Not zoning out, but zoning in. We all seemed to focus on the important thing. The focus of the music... not the music itself.

Maybe it was just me.

Either way, I had a blast. I just hope that everyone else enjoys the songs like we did.

Here's a link to a killer song by Todd Agnew:
http://www.buzzplant.com/toddagnew/ecard/
I subscribe to Todd's website and he sent me this ecard. I know he didn't send it just to me, but still. He sent it to me too.
Here's a few lyrics:

You know when I wake, when I rise, when I pray,when I curse You
and You love me the same
And You know when I stumble and fall,
and You're there through it all
The only unchanging one

So this song describes how I'm feeling about my relationship with God right now.
Give it a listen and take the time to really hear what Todd's saying. I'm digging it.

Well, off to bed. I have to go into the office tomorrow... ugh.

Not again...

3am on Saturday morning.
Ugh.
Am I nervous about doing the wedding tomorrow? I don't think so.
Sitting here in Justin & Lori's house. I wish I could sleep, but I can't for some reason.
I already took another Melatonin... Apparently, my hidden desire for restlessness outweighs my desire for sleep.
It's dark out here. McLean is pretty, kinda like a college town gone super-rich.
However, I think I like my neighborhood better. More streetlights or something.

Crap... I woke Pam up. I know she doesn't mind, but I don't like bugging her with this.
At least I don't have to get up early. The wedding stuff doesn't start until like 1pm.

I guess we'll see.

Greetings from McLean, VA

I'm sitting here in the kitchen of a friend. Justin & Lori were so gracious to let us stay in their house while they're visiting Justin's brother, John. Justin & Lori have a really cool house. When we drove up the driveway, we thought it was three houses. They were very modest when they said it was just a rambler. "Rambler" may just mean, "one floor", but it's got tons of style and character. They've got a real zen vibe going in the house. Very feng shui. Maybe I should have gone to dental school.
Anyhoo, we had a safe trip up here. Doing a wedding this weekend. Mike's watching the house while we're gone. Thanks Suave'!!

Something to think about... Compare Romeo & Juliet with the concept of salvation.
I'll be back with more about this later. I'll share it with my church, then I'll post it here.
This way, people aren't reading ahead and then saying, "Get out of here... I heard this before".

Finished my book!!!

I write terrible poetry.  Did I mention that?  My poetry consists of mindless lover-dribble and post-separation anxiety blues.  It’s the kind of stuff you’d read in an American Idol reject’s manifesto for life.
Not sure where that came from, but hey.  I’m starting to censor my blog entries.  I’m not quite sure that’s a good idea.  The whole idea behind this blog was for an open-forum journey into my mind.  
Heather just came over.  We all watched the movie Stealth.  It was pretty good.  Don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for you.
So Thanksgiving is upon us once again.  It’s a time to give thanks in the tradition of our American ancestors.  Unfortunately, I can’t find any Indian villages to pillage.
Whups… did I say that out loud?
I walk a precarious line because I live in America, but I shudder to think how America came to be the nation it is.  It’s not fair… I know.  But this is my blog and these are my thoughts.  Don’t like them?  Go here.
I finished reading Searching for God Knows What.  I really enjoyed it.  It filled my mind with visions of how Christianity should be.  To be honest, over the past few months, I’ve developed an aversion to Moral Majority-speak and 700Club-ese.  Anyone who decides to use Christianity as a platform to launch their own agendas “for the good of the country” does NOT have an ear with me.  In fact, it may be hard for me to keep my lunch down around them.  I’ve found that most Christians don’t really want to show God’s love, they want to validate themselves and their religion in the eyes of others.

I only want to show God’s love.  Maybe others should do the same.  The world has seen plenty of God’s judgment via “Christians”.  What about God’s compassion?  When did we forget about that?  What about God’s eternal love?  If we’re created in the image of God, then why don’t we choose to show this facet of God?  I’m glad you asked.  
It’s because we’d rather use Christianity as a platform to show that we’re better than you.
Ugh… I need to go vomit.  Think about this while I’m gone.

Melancholy Tuesday

I thought I was going to buy an Xbox 360 yesterday.  Little did I know that there were going to be people in line at least 12-15 hours early.  Also, for some reason, they only sent like 40-50 Xbox 360’s to each store.  End result, each store sold out in like 20 minutes.
I guess I could have waited in line too, but I didn’t want to be “that guy”.
I kinda wanted to drive by the lines and yell, “Xbox sucks!!!” just to get them angry at me.
I don’t know why… I just thought it’d be funny.
So work has been a tad dull lately.  I mean, I’ve got plenty of it, but it’s just the same thing over and over again.  I feel like an advanced version of a guy in a mass-production line.  Open the box, put in the bolt, close the box.  
Ugh.
I have to put the car in the shop today.  Engine light came on.  Maybe after spending some time in the waiting room reading, I’ll have the inspiration necessary to come up with something interesting to say.

My Rainy Day Music

1. The Nearness Of You - Norah Jones
2. Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
3. Cold Cold Heart - Norah Jones
4. Humble Me - Norah Jones
5. What Am I To You? - Norah Jones
6. Don't Know Why - Norah Jones
7. Yes I Will - (acoustic version) - Bebo Norman
8. If I Had $1,000,000 - Barenaked Ladies
9. Linger - The Cranberries
10. Stay - Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
11. Solitude - Edwin McCain
12. I'll Be - (Acoustic Version) - Edwin McCain
13. I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain
14. The First Cut is the Deepest - Sheryl Crow
15. A Long December - Counting Crows
16. Your Mistake - Sister Hazel
17. Champagne High - Sister Hazel
18. Your Winter - Sister Hazel
19. All For You - Sister Hazel
20. Hook - Blues Traveler
21. One Love - Hootie and the Blowfish
22. Time - Hootie & The Blowfish
23. Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls
24. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
25. Ironic - Alanis Morissette
26. Flake - Jack Johnson
27. Forever - Ben Harper
28. Walk Away - Ben Harper
29. Never Know - Jack Johnson
30. Don't Dream It's Over - Neil Finn
31. Forever - Ben Harper
32. Walk Away - Ben Harper"

Had a nightmare last night...

So here’s how it went.  We’re in what looks like a school, but I know it’s our church.  Someone has censored all of our relevant-based materials and has actually created stickers to cover up certain words in the bible that support our stance against ultra-religion & mindless traditions.  All of the staff was locked in rooms, but for some reason, I managed to sneak out and no one saw me.  All of the people that took over the school/church were people I have, in the past years, considered hypocritical and ultra-religious.  The part that was weird was that Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter movies was there.  Yes, I saw the Goblet of Fire… shame on me… blah blah blah.  It’s just a movie, get over yourself.  It was pretty good movie, but man was it looong.
Anyhoo, I managed to escape, avoid capture, and even managed to get into the choir as a guitar player.  Once the church was filled to capacity, I started yelling that this is not how it’s supposed to be and that they’re holding everyone hostage.  The whole while, I’m still playing the guitar and adjusting sound equipment & cables.  The songs they were singing were all hymnal-based. (Personally, I feel that singing from hymnals is like having needles stuck in my eyes)  So I kept yelling that they’re keeping us captive.  The “pastor”, somebody who looks familiar, but is apparently pure eeeviiil, comes out and starts his sermon.  I then take advantage of the fact that everyone is too preoccupied with the eeeviiil pastor’s message to notice me, so I then run around freeing all of the captives.

Then I wake up.

Is there a therapist in the house???

Well, it’s 7:46 on Sunday morning.  I need to get a shower & get ready for church.  See you later!  
By the way, I bought Velvet Elvis on CD.  I’m looking forward to hearing the book in Rob Bell’s own voice.  I know I read it already, but I’m planning on reading/listening to this one at least once a year.

Going good so far

I've got to say something. I need to stop judging good and bad days based on what has happened. I'd love to say every day is a great day. I can't, but I'd love to.
On a scale of 1-10 so far, my day has been an 8.
I didn't get to sit down at a table in Starbucks for like 5 or 10 minutes. I had to sit in a chair with no table and read my book.
Whups... Hey Pam... I went to Starbucks today. I forgot to tell you.
I'm reading a book by Donald Miller called Searching for God knows what. After reading Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis, I figured all future books would be a letdown. I was wrong. If you're looking to re-define your relationship with God, read these two books.

I wish I could explain how I feel right now. I feel like I did when I was cleaning the church with Mrs. Pat back in Foursquare Church in Jacksonville, NC back in 1994.

I had recently gotten what I call, "Saved-saved". That means I meant it.
I stopped vacuuming and said, "Mrs. Pat, is it always this good?"
She smiled at me and said, "No... it just gets better".

Understand this please; This conversation took place in 1994. Eleven years ago... and I still can't get it out of my head. Mrs. Pat is not a rich woman or a woman of position. I was helping her clean the church, remember?
Mrs. Pat didn't have a perfect life, she struggled with things we all struggle with. She didn't have a perfect family life either. But she still saw life as a good thing.

I then think about Mrs. Barbara Linton. She and I were in the choir together. She has the coolest Jamaican accent. She said to me, "It's a beautiful life... it just has bad moments once in a while". I think that's why I can't see life any other way. These two women had been through more trials and pain in their lives than I would probably ever see... and believe me, I've seen more than my share. And yet they still see life as good.

When the teens in our church tell me how hard their lives are, I truly sympathize with them and try to give them comfort, but honestly, a part of me chuckles inside... because I know one day, they'll look back at their teens and realize, "man... it wasn't that bad".
I just wish they could see that now. I've come to realize that I'm not going to change their points of view on life. What I can do is love them and show them my point of view. Then one day, hopefully, they'll get it.

Hey... it could happen.

What a great day!!!

Neat picture huh? I did it years ago using Photoshop 5, but never put it to use. I figured, "Hhey, I've got a blog, why not post it there & see if people like it".

Well, do ya?

Use the picture if you like, I only ask that you don't call it your own.

The Celtic cross design was just a neat design. The cross itself is wooden, covered by gold, but the gold is chipping away. That's supposed to have some sort of significance about "when all is stripped away, the cross remains" or something like that.

The draped cloth is a throwback to my more ultra-religious days. I think some pastor told me that purple was a royal color or something like that.
The part I like the most is the crown of thorns hung up. It's an, "I'm coming back" thing.

Somebody in California won the MegaMillions lotto. 315 Million. Wow. What I would do with that kind of cash. I dream about it all the time. Is that wrong? My friend and Pastor once told me to be careful not to tell my dreams to just anyone. So you don't get to hear them. No offense, but I don't know who is reading this. I don't want someone discouraging my dreams.

Some days, dreams are all you have. I saw a movie called, "Father of the Bride" with Steve Martin. He had a very interesting line... He said, "My whole life is 'have to' ". I know a lot of people can feel that way. To be honest, I feel that way sometimes. I feel like I've dug a hole of responsibility and duty and I can't get out. However, I remember there was this guy one time. He had a responsibility to pay off a debt... my debt. He did it willingly. The least I can do is return the favor by doing what I can to help those around me. Yeah, you guessed it. The guy is Jesus. I know I keep going back to Him, but I can't help it. Every time I think about Him I feel closer to Him.

So I spent about 30 minutes in Starbucks this morning... Just sitting in a comfy chair, drinking egg-nogg latte', and reading my book. It was a very calming time for me. I'm gonna have to do that more often.
I think later on I'll post something about how I think Jesus views us as people. I've stumbled across some interesting information and I'd like to share it with you. Stay tuned!!!

Running Sucks

I started running again.  Since the odometer on my treadmill is busted, I can’t tell how far.  However, I was able to tell one thing.
Running sucks.
When I was in the Marine Corps, I ran all the time.  It was like breathing.  We’d run for miles in the morning, then if we were bored during lunch, we’d run some more.
Of course, I was 10 years younger and about 20 pounds lighter.  I’d like to get back down to 190.  I guess that means I have to actually run longer than 30 minutes at a time.

Recently purchased DVDs:

• Friends Season 10


• Madagascar


• Stealth

So I still can’t remember what “amazing truth” Mike and I came up with.  That sucks too.  I really thought that it was something too.
I’m reading a book by Donald Miller called Searching for God knows what.  To be honest, the first 30 pages didn’t really blow my skirt up.  However, it’s really starting to pick up.  Really neat points he makes.  Maybe I’ll post some thoughts from it later.

Practice went really well.  Erik has switched to a crunchier electric guitar sound.  Everyone seems to like it.  Mike has really pushed his bass playing.  It’s louder, more on time, and he’s throwing his own style into it.  I’m pretty proud of him.  He couldn’t play bass or keep a beat when he first started a couple years ago.  He’s now picking up on exactly when to come in and what & how to play.  Good going Suave’.

Well, now here’s a mindless blog entry.  Oh well.  I promise more exciting reads later.

Monday's over!!!

I spent most of the day with a friend. His name is Jesus. Another friend named "Cowboy Mike" came by this morning and we went and had lunch with Maggie. Since Maggie is in the 4th grade, we got a few strange looks from her teachers. I'm sure people thought Cowboy Mike and I were a couple. I had to chuckle a little. Maggie's mom emailed me and said she got called about Maggie's two uncles that look nothing alike.
Another chuckle escaped my lips.
After we returned from lunch, we talked about leadership, relationships, marriage, work... anything that came up. The neat thing is that Jesus was at the core of each conversation.
Mike sees me as a mentor. That's a huge responsibility that I do not take lightly. If I say it's true, Mike believes me. It's that simple to him.
I wish it were always that simple with me and God.
I know His word is true, but sometimes, my fleshd wants to negotiate the meaning of His word so it suits my needs. That is sooo not right. My flesh is definitely warring against God. My heart must remain true to Him in order to keep me straight.

I think I'll have Chinese food tonight. Fat Albert is on TV.
I don't know why that's important, but it just popped into my head.

Mike and I came across a very startling truth today. I just wish I could remember what it was.
Maybe I'll remember it and post it on my blog.
I wish I knew about blogging a few years ago. It would have saved me lots of money on therapy.

Sunday funny Sunday

What a day!!! I love my church. It's filled with misfits, weirdos, and not-good-enoughs.
That's just the staff. Don't even get me started on the people that sit in the dark facing the stage.
JaNonda did a cover of Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time". I love that song.
(But don't tell anybody.)
My buddy Cowboy Mike came back in. I was not expecting his arrival for some time.
I was also not expecting to be affected by his return so much. I felt a little selfish hugging him for as long as I did. There were people lined up to hug him and say they missed him. Part of me didn't care. I was just glad my friend was home.
Pastor Chuck had a great message. The nugget I walked away with was that my children will respond more to the values I teach them rather than the rules I enforce.
Pastor Chuck's alright. I'm glad I met someone like him. He's always encouraged me to not run with the pack. His inability to play by the rules will definitely hinder him from advancing within the "ranks" of the organized church world, but I seriously doubt he wants that anyway.
If there were ever a person I looked up to, it's him. I wish I could win the lotto so we could build a really cool non-standard church and hire him on as a full-time Pastor. This two-job thing is really wearing him down. If you're reading this, don't forget to pray for Pastor Chuck. He does more than people realize and he gets tired. I couldn't keep up his pace. I'm starting to become concerned that he can't either. That keeps me up at night sometimes.

Speaking of staying up at night, I think I'm going to start up my boxer workout again. I'm feeling a little run down lately. That usually means I need more exercise. The extra exercise helps me sleep at night.

I wonder if people think me a fool sometimes.
Just thinking out loud I guess. Maybe they do because I don't take many things seriously. The only things I take seriously are my family, God, and serving Him through ministry. Everything else is a very distant 2nd. How pathetic is that? I don't take my job seriously. I really can't. Any job that you can do in your underwear can't be that serious.
I sound like a stripper. Let me re-iterate. Any job where you can wake up, take ten steps, and then sit down can't be taken too seriously.

A real day off

Nothing happened today. Woke up about 5am. Random tv as usual. Got off the couch about 9:45 & had coffee. The boys helped me clean the house & then I sat on the couch watching tv all day. Got pretty bored, fell asleep a few more times, but now I'm good.
I haven't had a day like this in a long time. I don't even know what the weather is like outside.
It looks sunny, but that's about it.
I wish I had humor or words of wisdom, but I'm just knackered right now.

Desperately Seeking Therapy

Sitting at my desk (as usual) and just had an epiphany. I need serious psychological help.
Pam thinks it's funny that I can't stand the mom (Marie) on "Everybody Loves Raymond". I get physically uncomfortable watching that show when she's in it. I couldn't figure out why until I realized that she reminds me of how I felt around my mom as a kid. Let's just say they would have been best friends.
I then started thinking about how I felt while watching "Chicken Little" with the kids recently.
Without spoiling the movie, let's just say Chicken Little has serious acceptance issues stemming from his father's lack of fatherly support.
Same feeling. I was very angry at the animated father. On several occasions, I caught myself thinking, "how could you do that to your own son?"
I had to remind myself, "Not only is this just a movie, Chicken Little's dad is a chicken... an animated chicken at that.

Oy vey... what's wrong with me?

So I seriously screwed up at work last night. A simple typo caused a network outage to about 400 people in New York. Yay me. Surprisingly, nobody got mad. To be honest, I'm shocked.
I am so ready for today to be over. Tomorrow, I think I'm just going to sit around and edit video all day.

That'd be nice. Just sitting... in front of a... PC.
Crap... that's what I do every day. I need a new job.

Is anybody reading this? Hello? is this thing on?
I guess it doesn't matter if people read this. What's important is that I'm half-crazy.
Quick!!! Somebody call the guys in white coats. There's a crazy man in my house!!!
Get me a straight jacket!!

I think the only thing that keeps me half-sane is that I don't have the attention span for a prolonged episode of insanity.
Is that a good thing? I hope so.

Formulas & Bullet Points

Finally a moment to relax.  Just got the car back.  Weird… I told them it was the bearings; they said they couldn’t find anything wrong.  I told them to look again.  They said it was the bearings.
Go figure.
So I’ve come up with no formulas or bulleted lists for salvation.  Apparently, there are none.  I think Jesus would have handed it to the disciples if one existed.  If we could just break salvation down into a list of do’s and don’ts we’d be all set.
But you know… I think that’d be bad.  Because then we’d stick to the list and “earn” our salvation.  Something about that just doesn’t sit right with me.  Something inside me says we can’t earn something that’s freely given.  Maybe it’s our nature to not want to “owe” anything.  We feel we have to earn it so we can say, “I did this and now it’s mine!”.
Boy is that self-centered.  Maybe that’s not what God wanted for us.  Maybe, just maybe, God wanted us to NOT be self-centered.  You know, I think I read that somewhere.  Yeah, I’m sure of it.  I’m sure that God wants us to be centered on Him.  Man… who does God think He is?  God???  
Yeah… He does.
I think I’m glad God thinks He’s God.  I’m glad because that means I don’t have to worry about the sun rising tomorrow or worry that I’ll stop breathing in my sleep.
I’m glad I don’t have to throw my son under a bus so that some people who don’t even know me or care about me can get a chance to go to heaven.  I don’t think I’m capable of that kind of love and compassion.  If I am capable of such, I don’t see it in myself.
So anyway, I guess I’m glad there aren’t bulleted lists or formulas to salvation.  I kinda like the fact that it’s like my relationship with my wife.  It takes love and work.  Some days it’s easy, some days it’s not.  

But overall, it’s a great ride!
†Ven

Good morning

Missed yesterday’s posting.  Work is really getting on my nerves.
Catharsis time!  I get so tired of re-doing my work because some group at the bank has decided to make a change to what they want, but don’t want to change the deadline.
It’s not like I sit around and pray for work to tumble my way.  I’ve got plenty to do.
By the way, I didn’t win the lotto last night.  Mike and I sat around last night watching Friends and talking about what we’d do with the money if we won.
You know, Mike is a pretty good friend to me.  He’s never done anything to me to hinder me.  I miss having him as a roommate.  He’s all grown up and getting married soon though.  I guess that email is true.  People float into your life and then float out, leaving their marks on you.  Or something sappy like that.
Just had two cups of French press coffee.  Whoooo!  My brain is wired up for action, but my body is still tired.
ADHD time!
My list of greatest technological inventions since the wheel are:

• Computers


• Internet


• Cell phones


• Tivo


• Nooma Videos


• Rhapsody Internet music service

I wonder how I can get more people to read this… Is that wrong?  Does that sound selfish?  I think I do this more for me than for others to read it.  This is like free therapy.
Sometimes I just want to speak my mind and then I feel better.  Who knows, maybe someday I’ll be talking about my relationship with my paternal father and how my early relationship with my mother has tainted my view of women.
I guess we’ll see.  Boy, what a wasted blog this is.  Oh well.

Song Lyrics

Listening to Edwin McCain’s “I’ll Be”.  Very interesting lyrics.  You can hear the sadness of his love.  The line that says, I’ll be better when I’m older.  I may have this all wrong, but it sounds to me like a guy who’s getting it all wrong, but his girl is sticking it out with him in spite of his faults.
Kind of reminds me of my wife, Pam.  She’s stuck with me for 18 years now.  

Wow… Am I that old???

Man… it’s amazing that she’d be willing to stick it out through my moodiness,

• my melancholy days


• my angry days


• my hyper days


• my fits of rage


• my days when I don’t know what’s wrong and can’t tell her why

I guess Pam exemplifies God’s love.  She’s patient, she’s kind, and she’s not proud or boastful.  She’s pretty great.  

Song just changed.  Edwin is singing “I could not ask for more”.  
I really couldn’t.
I dream of winning the lottery and building a really cool cutting-edge church and being a full-time minister.  I dream of all the things I could do if only my bill-paying job was out of the way.
Have I enslaved myself to this job with all the stuff I own?  I have a big house, but I have a big mortgage too.  I have two nice cars, only one of which is paid off.  I have a big old theater room; at least I own that outright.  (Thanks Heather for the re-fi).
What was I talking about?
Song changed again.  Jeffrey Gaines is doing an “In Your Eyes” cover.  Very cool.
Amazing how so many love songs can be pointed right at God and never sound weird.
I guess since He invented love, it helps to involve Him.

But that’s just what I think.

Manic Monday

Just got back from the Chrysler dealership.  For the last few weeks, the car has been making all kinds of noise from the suspension.  I brought it in and now it’s stopped.

Figures

I left it with them anyway and Janice came and picked me up on her way to work.  I really enjoy having such a close relationship with my sister.  All these years she and I had a sort of… space… between us.  I couldn’t put my finger on it.  I loved her, but there was always something missing for me.  Since she started coming to church with us recently it feels like that space has disappeared.
Man… that sounds selfish.  I don’t think I’m saying it right.  Maybe it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me.  Maybe it’s been since I’ve stopped thinking I was a super-Christian and knew God better than anyone else.  Maybe it’s because I’ve loosened up my self-made theology and realized that it’s okay to not have God figured out.  
Yeah… that’s probably it.  Either way, I’m glad that whatever it was, it is now gone.  I think God has been trying to tell me this all my life, but I’ve never really listened to Him.  Just to what others have told me and what I’ve read in books.  Every time I would read a book, the first thing in my mind would be how I could use the information to help teach others.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to share your discoveries with others, but I don’t think it should be the primary focus of your study.  The discovery itself should be the focus.  We read and study to learn, not to share… if we read and study to share, then our thoughts are not original.  They belong to someone else.
Well, I’d better get to work.

A Day Off

Saturday!!!
I just got a call from an old pastor of mine.  I haven’t heard from this guy in years and he calls at 8am this morning.  It was good to hear from him.  I got to share my views on ministry with him.  He was always open to doing things differently; still, I think I spooked him a little.
Saw Chicken Little last night.  I had a headache from laughing so hard.
My wife is reading some critics’ reviews right now.  I really dislike critics.  They want a movie to “mean something” or “make an impact”… I want to be entertained.  I was.

Since we own about 500 DVDs, I consider my wife and myself to be quite the movie aficionados.  I can’t wait for this one to be available for purchase.  It ran the gambit of a little guy making the best of a bad situation, then working hard for his dad’s approval, but then finally dad realizing his son’s pain and seeking “closure”.  All the while, general wackiness and mayhem are rampant.  Throw in a disco singing pig and you’re got a great movie.  I want to go see it again!

Anyhoo, I didn’t mean to go off on a movie critique, but hey… it’s my blog.  I’ll type what I want. (
I’m gonna go get some coffee & help Jodi now.  Seeya!

Cat Pic Redux

Here's another cat pic.
When he stands like this, his head is about 33 inches high.
I think he's a mutant or something, but he's cool.

WOW

What a diff several hours of sleep makes! I still don’t feel like working, but that never changes. I have to re-post some work I did last week. During the review, they found some errors. (whups)
I had a blast last night with the teens. We watched a nooma video called “Bullhorn”. It’s about how the loud, obnoxious, judgmental people that yell hellfire and brimstone, but call themselves “Christian”, make it harder for the rest of us just trying to make it in this world and just show God’s love.
Rob Bell said something really neat. To paraphrase, he said, in the eyes of those around us, the bullhorn guy and me get painted with the same paintbrush.
What a shame that the message of Christ got so screwed up that we forgot it is three simple words… God loves you.

• No but’s.
• No if’s.
• No conditions.

Just the fact that He loves you.
Of course there’s more, but that all comes in time. Just let God love you and love Him back. The rest will come. I promise.

Yet, I digress… I was talking about how much fun I had last night at †in His grip.
Everyone was relaxed on couches and bean bags, lying on the floor. But the neat thing was this… They were really listening and learning and giving their own opinions. They are quickly growing into a group that really doesn’t need me to teach them. That’s very exciting. Not to be rid of them, but for them to see they don’t need me to teach them. They’re starting to draw their own conclusions based on scriptures and experience. Two very good teachers.

Pam started a new group, called, “†in His grip Jr.” for ages 9-12. She let them choose the name. They’re a lot smarter than people give them credit for. She said they had a blast and so did she. Now they want their own website. I can pull that off for them. Well, it’s 9:04am and I need coffee.

Per your request

Kinda tired right now, going to try & get some sleep. (Can you say sedatives??) Just something OTC by Tylenol called Simply Sleep. It seems to get the job done.
Here's the cat... He's a 20-lb Hemingway cat (polydactyl = extra claws) that we managed to diet down from 24lbs.

Insomnia Sucks

Went to bed last night at 10:30, took Melatonin to help me rest. Apparently it didn't work. I woke up at 2:30am and had a song screaming in my head so I couldn't get back to sleep. I took another Melatonin & lay there for a while. I decided it was going to be another sleepless night. Went into the theater to watch tv, maybe fall asleep on the couch.
I watched random tv until about 5:30am, then started to crash.
Pam wakes me up at 6:30 cuz it's time to get the boys off to school.
Needless to say I'm crashing today.

Wednesday

Bored at home (work)…
The boys just got home from school. Josh is asking to play a video game. I guess its okay. Calvin (cat) is mad at me. I caught him jumping the fence again. I really don’t feel like finishing work because my neck hurts.

I just finished a complex network configuration (nerd alert!) so I can call it quits for the day.

I came across an epiphany last night. God is going to use me to minister

• Whether I’m ready or not.


• Whether I’m prepared or not.


• Whether I’m willing or not.

It’s interesting how He chooses the time and date, not me. I’m sure it’s got something to do with Him being in control and NOT me. I’m okay with that. It’s nice to know I don’t have to have it all figured out. I just have to help when He says to help.
I just finished reading a book called, Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. It has shaken my theology to its core. The things I used to hold fast to have become mindless doctrine that I’ve decided to shake loose. I love Rob’s take on God, scripture, and life. Amazingly enough, as I’ve “matured”, spiritually speaking, my views have become more fluid rather than becoming more solid. I think this is one of the things Jesus was doing when He came to hang out with us 2000+ years ago. He wanted us to know that we had boxed in what He wanted to be free. He wanted us to know that we had tried to humanize something that is superhuman. I guess that’s what we do best. We put things in a perspective that we can grasp and control instead of letting God be in control and do what He does best. But hey… that’s just my opinion.

If you’d like a taste of how Rob thinks, go to http://www.nooma.com/ and view the clips of his videos. I’ve bought four of them so far and plan on picking up the rest very soon.

First post

Well, I guess it's time to get with the program. I've seen so many of these, I'm pretty sure it's a good medium to communicate my thoughts.
They're not all going to be right, but they're still my thoughts. I don't have it all figured out, so don't think I do. Everything I say and do is up for commentary. Please feel free.