To give... Or not to give...

I took this picture with my cell phone. At night.
The "sunlight" is really the light from a streetlight.
I thought it was neat & decided to share it with you.
Did I already show you this picture?
eh... I don't care. Here it is again.

I posted my first "guest blog" entry on Pastor Chuck's blog.
It was about how giving should cost us something.

It reminds me how cavalier we can be with our charity. We think we're doing something by tossing twenty bucks here, fifty bucks there. But in the big picture, we're only doing it as long as it doesn't threaten our own personal comfort. Yeah, we could have gone out to eat with that fifty bucks, but in the grand scheme, we're gonna be, shall we say, " a'ight ".

Compare that to the guy who hands over half his sandwich to the guy next to them because that guy has nothing at all to eat. That sandwich was this guy's only meal of the day... he gave half of it away.
Yeah... I feel like a worm too.

Maybe the picture means more to me now. What we think is going on is really just an illusion. It's not daytime, it's not the sun. It's nighttime and that's a streetlight.
Am I giving or am I merely tossing away scraps.

Here's a nice tough question...
If I go to an outreach once every couple of months and help feed the less fortunate, am I helping others or am I just helping myself feel better?

Ugh...

7:15 and I need coffee.
This time, my insomnia was induced by my new Nighttime Party Kitty. She has decided, in her infinite wisdom, that we should be sleeping during the day and awake all night.
She apparently knows what my ears are for, because she stands on the side of my head while I'm sleeping and MEOOOOWWWWs right in my ear.

Once I'm awake and rolled over, she decides it's snuggle time. After her one minute snuggle, she gets back up and runs around the bedroom again.
Once or twice would be cute... She does this all night.

To top it all off, Pam gets a phone call at 6:28. Two minutes before the alarm goes off.
My heart is pounding because I think someone's had an emergency. Nope. Some chick at Pam's work wants to know what time she's supposed to come in to work.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Off to Starbucks.

Peter Pan Faith

I spent last night talking with my friend Jim.
He and I have very different views on the Christian faith, but we still converge when it comes to belief and trust in God through Christ.
That's enough for me. Besides, our faith doesn't have to be carbon copy in order for us to be friends.

Anyway, I was talking to another friend about what I call "Peter Pan faith" today. They asked what it meant, so I figured I'd share with you, my three faithful readers.

Peter Pan faith is what I call the kind of faith that you can meander aimlessly through life without a care in the world and God will spoon-feed you your every heart's desire.
Peter Pan Christians are those ones who think they're a King's kid and they're just 'a walkin' in the land of Goshen.
They say they never get sick, but even though I've seen them sick, they just say, "It's just an attack of the enemy and I'm not claiming this sickness!".
Okay... whatever. If you would claim that sickness and carry your butt to the doctor, it'd be over much quicker and the "sickness enemy" would leave you alone.

My other favorite is those people who open up businesses with no knowledge of how to do it, but believe that "God will bless them" anyway.

Don't get me wrong. I believe that God's blessings are abundant. I really do. I've seen firsthand His wonderful miracles. He's provided for me when I thought all hope was lost on more times than I can remember.

However, what rubs me wrong is these people that think God their own personal sugar daddy.
They worship God for what He can do for them.
The problem with that is that their faith becomes shaken when God doesn't perform exactly according to their plan.

Whups. What do we do now Yogi??
Geez Boo-Boo, I dunno.

I'll tell you what you do. Stop looking to God for a handout and get a job ya bum!
Just kidding. But seriously, we should stop demanding that God be our sugar daddy and just love Him for who He is and not what He can give us.
Plus, how about being God's hand once in a while? When's the last time we did something unexpected for someone who really needs it? Something good, I mean.

Sorry, maybe that was overly critical. Maybe I'm just sleepy.
I'll tell you tomorrow if I still feel this way after a good night's sleep.

Daily Reflection & Random Thoughts

Or is it sheer madness?
Woke up this morning with a song in my head. A song I haven't heard in years.
I Remember You by Skid Row.
Not the entire song mind you. Just one verse.

"Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,
The wind would whisper and I think of you."

That's it.
Do you have any clue how annoying it is to just have two lines of a song running through your head ALL STINKING NIGHT???

Some people can't sleep at night because they have bills due or children in trouble or marital problems... I can't sleep some nights because I'm worried I may not get to sleep.

Uh... yeah.

I miss playing the guitar with my friend Aubrey Bailey.
We would sit in the living room of our 800 sq. ft. apartment all night long sometimes and he would teach me how to play guitar by just playing songs from his book.
Mostly Collective Soul, Live, Hootie, or GnR stuff.
I was a terrible guitar player back then, but I could sing, so I played the chords I knew and sung. I'd leave the rest to Aubrey.
He was a good friend. He gave me a gift I could never repay.

For those of you who don't play guitar, let me try and explain. I'm not a poet, but it deserves poetic description.

When I have my guitar in my lap, it just feels like something that belongs there.
I can pick two chords and create a haunting melody by playing them back and forth.
I hear the strings vibrate and feel the sound resonate against me as if the guitar is saying, "Let me sing for you".
Once the melody is there, I start to hear other voices in the "song". No percussion or words are necessary.
Sitting with Aubrey and playing guitar was like this. We both appreciated the simple sound a guitar makes and our wordless fellowship resounded like a chorus of thousands.

Pretty lousy imagery huh?
It doesn't matter. Next time you get a chance to hear a few guitar players just sitting around, take the time to notice how they don't say what they're going to do or try, just one player starts, the others look for a second, then immediately join in. Each doing his/her own thing. It sounds beautiful... no sheet music, nothing. Just random notes that blend... because they do.

It's 8am.
Last night I got a phone call from three people I haven't seen in a long time. Something is sticking in the back of my mind. Each one of them wanted something.
I don't mind helping people... in fact, I love it. But, once in a while, it would be nice to get a phone call or email from someone who just wants to know how I'm doing.
I have some friends who do just that and I appreciate them dearly.
They will call or email and just say "hey".
Maybe it's just the busy lifestyle most people live, but it concerns me more than it bothers me.
If everyone is so busy that they can't stop for simple conversation, then how much time can they have for personal reflection?
I am a firm believer that personal reflection time is essential to our survival and growth.
It helps us see how we feel so we can recognize our motives. Since our motives drive our actions, it's probably a good thing to know why you do what you do.

Well, the thought well has run dry. I guess that means it's time to go to work.

What every boy needs to know about being a man.

I watched Cinderella Man for the first time about a week ago.
I'm not a big fan of movies that deal with the depression era because it was a very sad time for our country.
However, this movie inspired me in a way that few movies ever did.
I found myself on more than one occasion saying, "That's what a real man does".

Without spoiling the movie, I found that the main character, Jim Braddock, was a man to be admired.
A boxer, husband and father, Jim finds himself a victim of the great depression. Unable to box, Jim takes on any job, sacrificing every last shred of his pride, to keep his family together, warm, and fed. On one occasion, you see him offering the only meal he was to have that day to his child, who was still hungry.

Don't worry, the story gets great after that.

But this story made me realize how a real man should be. So here's my rundown:

A real man is proud of what God has given him, not what he has achieved.
A real man sees that his wife and family are taken care of first. He is a distant second.
A real man does not revel in the humiliation of his wife... even in jest.
A real man protects his family at all costs.
A real man sacrifices all, even pride, to provide for his family.
A real man encourages his wife and children to be all that they want to be, not all he wants them to be.
A real man doesn't compare himself to other men.
A real man teaches his children to be prepared for the world in which they live.
A real man doesn't hide it when his heart is touched.
A real man asks for help when he needs it.

And the final one...
A real man doesn't need to read this.

Sounds like a lot, doesn't it?
It's not though.

The simplest thing to think about when it comes to being a real man is that he doesn't put himself first.

Simple enough huh?

Where am I going?

Tough question time. I don't have a clue where this post will lead, so please bear with me. As you may (or may not) know, I find myself asking myself tough questions. I didn't say I love it, or even like it for that matter, but I ask anyway.

So... where am I going? I have no idea.
I can only have faith that God knows. I guess I'm okay with that.
I would be lying if I said it's easy.
I firmly believe my life would be far less complicated if I threw my hands up and walked away from all of this.
I know for a fact that I would have more time on my hands if I stopped answering the phone and changed my email address.
I truly know that I would have time for all my hobbies if I didn't spend so much time with ministry.

But then... a big chunk of me would be missing.

Something at the core of me is crying out right now as I type these words.
Something is yelling, "What are you thinking???"
It's okay Something... calm down. I'm just taking things to extremes for a little self-actualization.

I think God is revealing this to me right now.
My whole life has led up to this moment. All the struggles, the good and bad times, everything, has been put in place for this moment.
Following Jesus is not a "have to" or a "want to". For that matter, it's not even a "get to".
It's a desperate, I can't live without you, type thing.
It's a, "there's something wonderful inside of me that I need you to see".
The something wonderful is not me, but it's inside of me. When I saw it, I knew I'd never be the same again.
I guess that's why I do it. Why I answer the phone or check my email or talk to people. To show them that "something". With all that I am, I believe that if you truly see it, you, too, will never be the same.
So, don't look at me, look inside of me.
Hopefully, I'll be able to step far enough out of the way so you can see it too.

More to say

Maybe I'm just playing catch-up, but I decided to post some more rants & raves.
Pam (wife & love of my life) and I were talking like we always do. She said something that made me think.

She does that a lot.

She said, "You know what I'm starting to get bored with?"
I said, "Uh... no".
She said, "It's these words Christians use".
I said, "Oh".
(I was doing something else at the time)

My ears perked up when she said, "I get so tired of hearing people say, 'let's lift up so-and-so to God'"
I asked why.
She said it was because we use words like, "lift up" and "God's hand" like they're common.
I stopped doing what I was doing and looked right at her.
She continued to talk about how we toss around Christian-speak like everyone else understands what we're saying. If they don't understand, they immediately feel excluded.
She said, "why can't we just say, 'Pray for my friend'."

She's got a good point. We use such fancy words sometimes. It's as if when we use the fancy words, our prayers become more effective.

I'm just glad that we (Pam and I) have stopped using words like, "secular" and "worldly", "saved" and "un-saved" or "lost".
I guess it's now time to raise the bar so to speak.

Let's delve into something here.
James 5:16, paraphrased, says,
" the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous gets a lot done".

Fair enough.

However, in Romans 3:10, Paul directly quotes Psalms when he says, "there is none righteous... no, not one". As a matter of fact, Isaiah 64:6 says our righteousness is like filthy rags.

Well crap man... Since there is none righteous, how do our effectual fervent prayers avail much?
I think they don't.

Now stay with me here. Where does our "righteousness" come from?
Oh yeah... the righteousness of Christ.
Reading further in Romans, you see that Christ's righteousness (right standing) is placed upon us when we believe.
Okay... I'm good now.

Since it's not our right standing, but Christ's right standing, I think we can dispense with the fancy talk. It doesn't do us any good.

Let Jesus do the talking, you just do the walking. (Read Matthew 28:19, you'll get it)

Where have you been?

Right here, just didn't feel like blogging this weekend.
The weekened was apparently longer than usual.
I started having PC problems (again) and decided to rebuild my PC yesterday.
I'm still not complete, but it's up & running.

I went running with Rob yesterday. yikes... I'm out of shape.
I feel very sore today. A feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I must say I really don't like it.
Hopefully lots of water & ibuprofen will help.

On to the topic of the day.
I finished reading Erwin McManus' The Barbarian Way.
I really enjoyed it. Very inspiring. Definitely a book for anyone who's tired of civilized Christianity.
Now, if you like sitting in church in a suit being told what a good Christian you are, then don't read this book. It's definitely not for you.
However, what if you're tired of organized religion that believes in the trickle-down version of Christianity?
That being if you attend church regularly and sing in the choir or usher people to their seats that God will send people to the church and God will save them.
What if you don't believe it's that simple?
What if you believe you actually have to go get your hands dirty and risk a little face-to-face with someone who doesn't believe what you believe?
What if you want to take even a bigger risk and go buy a stranger lunch?
What if you want to go to a "homeless shelter" (I hate that term by the way) and personally help people who are really in need?

Well... then this book is definitely for you.

fin

This one's gonna raise some eyebrows

That's my 7-year old son Josh in his cool pose.
Man... I'm going to have to lock him in the house once girls notice how cute he is. He's so lovable too. He's gonna have girls clawing each other's eyes out over him.

On to the topic du jour.
I have a question...
Are my thoughts evolving or degenerating?
I'm starting to wonder if there is such a thing as "being in" or "being out" of the will of God.

Jump into my mind for a second.
Just watch out for that shaved monkey in the corner playing backgammon with the rhino in a tutu. He's grouchy.

If I were God, and I created and knew everything, I would know exactly what mistakes my creation was going to make.
In my simple little mind, that makes perfect sense.

Now, if I knew every step and mistake my creation was going to make, being that I am a loving God, I would put help guide my creation by placing obstacles and choices in their path to help them grow in my love. Since I'm God, I already know what choice they're going to make. They still have free will, but since I'm God, I've already seen the choices they're going to make.

Now don't jump on the "That's predestination" train. Predestination means we have no choice.
Think of it as our lives are being documented day by day, moment by moment. Now, understand that God is outside of what we call time. He sees past/present/future as one thing kinda like watching a parade from 1000 feet up. It all moves as one and you see it all
He's already read the book from cover to cover. No... he wrote it. Well, something like that.

Where was I? Oh yeah. He knows what choices we're going to freely make and He's already provided for their consequences, both good and bad.

With me so far?
Good.

John 10:27-28 shows this clearly... No one can pluck us from God's hand. Not even us.
There is nothing I can do to make God love me more, or less for that matter.
If this is so, then I find it hard to believe that I have the amazing ability to leap out of God's will.

I mean... I can't even get to the gym twice a week, let alone out-will God Himself.

I believe that people can ignore God's love.
I believe that people can ignore each other's love too.

But I no longer believe that people can "run away" from God.
Perfect example is Jonah. He tried... didn't get him far. Just got him hocked up like a fish-loogie on a beach.
yuk.

Maybe I'm over simplifying this whole "me and God" thing.

Or am I?

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance

Confucius said that.
A man who can't dance is self-conscious and lacks inner strength.
Erwin McManus mentioned that it refers to inner strength coming from inner peace.
Interesting thought. I'm tempted to agree.
A man without inner peace can be strong, but his strength is shown his reactions.
He will lash out in anger or fight. He is quick to defend himself to what he sees as personal attacks.
A man with inner peace is strong. His strength is shown by is lack of reaction. He is quick to dismiss such things as they are a waste of his time and do not offer a place to show love.

Jesus exemplified this by a thing called meekness.
By no means was Jesus weak. Meekness is not weakness. Meekness is strength under complete control.

If I cannot control my anger, I am weak.
If I cannot control my reactions, I am weak.
If I cannot control my tongue, I am weak.
If I cannot control myself, I am weak.

I know it stings, but truth is truth.
I've realized that Jesus was setting an example for us when He chose not to respond to allegations made by the Pharisees and the "paid witnesses" who were lying about Him.

With His lack of action, Jesus was saying, "If you are truthful and honest, you do not have to defend yourself". The lies will eventually be found out and those who accused you will be found to be wrong.
However, the fact that you did not argue or defend yourself will provide them a road back to fellowship with you.

Meditate on these things.

The Barbarian Way

I'm an official fan of this book.
I'm about 1/4 of the way through, but it's already on my list of favorites.
Erwin McManus shows how modern-day christians have gotten the message of salvation all wrong.
Many believe, and preach, that salvation is the answer to all your problems. That following Jesus means all your dreams come true and it's wine and roses all the live long day.

When in fact, salvation is a call to just the opposite. True salvation is a call to desperate, reckless, and wild faith.
I guess that's why Jesus said things like, "I send you as sheep amongst the wolves" and, "Anyone who comes after me must take up his own cross and follow me".
It's definitely not a, "Vote for Pedro and all your wildest dreams will come true" deal.

Unfortunately, we are no different than the Pharisees of Jesus' time. We consider wordly gain to be the ultimate display of God's grace and love.
This causes christians to say things like, "God has really blessed me with this home and new cars and such... You must be out of the will of God if you don't have all the stuff I have".

How astoundingly incorrect is that?

I'll give three perfect examples:
John the Baptist - lived in the wild, ate bugs & honey. Wore camelskin clothing. Definitely not rich.
The Apostle Paul - Was a famous religious man in his time. Took up the call for Christ, became a whipping pole, target of mockery, stones, you name it. Eventually was martyred.
Early church (Book of Acts) - Most of these people were eventually martyred.

Where's the fame & fortune???
To date myself and quote a not-so-famous song,
"I beg your pardon... I never promised you a rose garden".

None of this is new to me, but instead has finally been driven fully into my heart... like a stake.
My focus as a teacher/preacher must change. I need people to see that, though the ride is definitely going to be rough, and not always fair in our eyes, (read John 21) but it's going to be wild!!! You'll never be the same...

Ever.

So ask yourself a few questions:
Do you want to live an exciting life for Christ?
Are you willing to live like every meal may be your last?
Are you willing to let go of the "Worldly gain = God's blessings" mentality?

Jump on board...

If not, that's okay. Just step aside for now and try not to get in the way.

Your name here.

9:20pm and I'm settling in for the night.
I helped Cameron study for his tests tomorrow. I'm sure he'll do fine. He really knew the material. That's good. I think the time he spent with my sister really helped.
I'm glad my JJ is back in my life.
I mean, she's always been in my life, but now she's a bigger part of it than she's ever been. She's getting involved in something I'm involved in.
It's as if we're partners again.

I have to say, I don't have much memory of when I was a kid, (don't get me started) but all the memories of my sister were good ones.
She means more to me than I can ever express to her.
By the way, the eye picture isn't supposed to be creepy, it's supposed to represent a vision for people and community.
Pastor Chuck talked about our vision for 2006. He's very excited about it. His excitement really stirred a lot of people.
In a nutshell, our vision for 2006 is to "Re-draw the Christian Faith".

Me like... A lot.

I spent some time with Joe today. Finally met his dad. The funny thing was that we met in a Denny's. Not that Denny's is funny, but that I was offering some advice on stuff, and people from other tables were kinda leaning in to listen. They weren't eavesdropping to see what was going on, but they were genuinely interested in the advice that was being given.
It reminded me of that old E.F. Hutton commercial.

I told them not to feed the ego...

Do I blog to often? I guess not. Besides, this is for me... Not an audience.

I'm going to take all the services I have on video and burn the audio to mp3. I can then put them on the church website. This way, if someone misses a Sunday, they can still hear the message. I think it's better than DVD because the video is still poor (lighting & such).

Plus, if someone walks in front of the camera, you won't be able to hear it. ; )~

Well, I'm gonna get ready for bed. Long day tomorrow (I think).
Gonna start running again. Ugh.

Lead...

Come and take my hand and lead
Come and pour the oil over me
And humbly I will bow my knee
Oh let your love fall down

When I fail you comfort me
Wipe the tears from my face
Then you lead me beside Still waters of grace
Restore my soul And lead

Come and steal my pride away
Come and promise me you'll stay
Then goodness and love will follow me
All the days of my life
- Matt Brouwer (Lead)

There's something about this song. It haunts my very soul.
Very few songs can do that. I love music. Music speaks to me. Music inspires me. But its a rare song that has such a profound effect on me.

I heard this song as background music to a video and had to find it.
I then used Rhapsody (woohoo!) to find the song and listened to it over and over again until I could play it.
I had to stop playing and consider the lyrics.
This song is basically a re-write of the 23rd Psalm:

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil:
For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil;
My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

When I think of this Psalm, and the song for that matter, it reminds me that
God loves ME.
Not us collectively... but me individually.
I mean, He does love us all, but He's taken time to love me personally.

Growing up, I had no father figure to look up to. I hated it.
I had no brothers around to protect me. I hated that more than anything.
However, had I known God then like I know Him now, I would have realized that He was there as my Father and my Brother.
I can't possibly fathom how much love He has for me, but I know it's a lot more than I'll ever need.

I wish I could say something inspiring and uplifting, but I'm stuck thinking about how much God loves me right now.

I'm sure you'll understand.

Yay!!!

I finished Blue Like Jazz. It was a good book. I think I should have read it before reading Searching for God knows what. It seemed to me that his thinking, and writing for that matter, was a little less evolved.
That stands to reason, because it was written before his Searching... book.

I really enjoyed it though. Don't get me wrong. It just seemed to take longer to read than Searching.
By the way, that's Don up there. I got to hear him speak at the Catalyst '05 conference. I really enjoyed listening to him. I didn't agree with everything he said, but I enjoyed listening to him speak.
On to Erwin McManus' The Barbarian Way.
It's Saturday and I don't have much planned. I got to spend the first two hours of the morning just reading. What a nice morning! We're going to take the boys shopping so they can spend their Christmas gift money. Maybe I'll use my Sears gift card & get something neat too.

Enjoy your day.

What I learned from Rob

I was thinking about all the closest friends I've had.
I came to the realization that the ones who made the biggest impact on my life were usually named Rob.
Weird. None of them liked being called Robert either.

When I was 16, I met Rob Logan. His mom was a "Jesus Freak". He had a Datsun B210 Wagon that we would drive to Lynnhaven Mall and pretty much everywhere else. We were skate rats together. He showed me I needed to shave my face and cut my sideburns so I wouldn't look like a scrub. He's a firefighter in Florida now.

When I was 23, I met Rob Taylor. We were in the Marines together. They called us Big Taylor & Little Taylor. I'm 6feet, 220lbs andI was Little Taylor. He was a center for his college in Kentucky. Big boy... But he hated being called, "big" because he thought he was fat. He wasn't fat. He was just like 6'5" and 275. When we ran, he would always push himself so hard he'd yak.
However, he never broke stride... just turned his head to the side & called Ralph in Europe.
Rob obviously taught me about how to push yourself beyond what you're used to.

He always had that look of disapproval when he knew I was screwing up. I liked that. He never said anything, but you knew he was thinking, "when are you gonna wise up?".
Rob died of cancer a few years ago. That really hurt. In fact, it still hurts.
Rob re-dedicated his life to God about a year before he passed. I guess I'll see him again.

While I was in the Marine Corps, I met another guy named Rob.
Rob Butler.
He was my closest friend. In fact, He and Rob Taylor knew each other.
Rob Butler taught me to enjoy Christian music and that it was okay to be Christian and be real.
He was a Christian and he was real. Sometimes he was a real jerk. But so was I.
He and I worked together. I would always take an idea and run with it until it failed. Rob would research first. When it looked like I was doing all the work and he was just sitting back doing nothing, it always ended up being his plan that we would put into action.
I guess he taught me how to do your homework before you go running off into nothing.

So far, that's all the Robs. I've got a neighbor two houses down. His name is Rob. He's turning out to be quite a good friend. He's not heavy into church stuff though. I just find it interesting that eery conversation we have, for some reason, always gravitates toward God's love.

Weird.

I guess we'll see what he teaches me.

Religious vs. Spiritual?

I've noticed a trend in today's culture.
Notice I didn't say Christian culture because I have officially rejected the idea that there is a Christian culture and a Non-Christian culture.
There is only one culture and we're living smack-dab in the middle of it.

What I've noticed is that more and more people say, "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual".
It's a very trendy thing to say, but what does it really mean?
I'm glad you asked.

This is my attempt a delving into the wonder that is spirituality.
Mind you, I'm no scholar; I'm just an ordinary nutcase stumbling through the dark, trying to get it right.
Disclaimer: I believe that God loves me, that Jesus died for my sins, and that the Holy Spirit guides me. I love them desperately for this.

All that said, let's talk about religious.
If you google define: religious, you'll find everything is a reference to religion... what a shocker.
I think the word has lost its meaning in modern-day culture.

My modern-day definition of religious is, "Doing something simply because you've always done it".
I love asking myself, "Why do you do...________?"
It allows me to re-consider my actions and let go of silly practices for the sake of tradition.

Maybe it's also the reason why I find it hard to stick to something. But anyhoo...

When I was in the Marine Corps, I hated it when they said, "Well, we've just always done it that way". It wasn't the best way, just the way they were taught.
I've found that the Marine Corps is a microcosm for the world... Meaning, the same crap happens in the Marine Corps that happens in the world, it just happens faster and on a smaller scale.

So what is religion to me? Religion, to me, is mindless practice that has lost its meaning, but we continue because it's the way we've been taught.
Yes, they are harsh words, but they are mine. When I speak, I represent just me.
Too many atrocities have been committed in the name of religion for me to associate myself with it.
Religious people hate.
Religious people judge.
Religious people don't forgive.
Religious people say astoundingly stupid things like, "God hates homosexuals" or "If you don't go to my church, you're going to hell".

I had to shake that one off. I almost went into another tirade.

Religion causes people to "lose the plot" so to speak. People jump on a train simply because it's moving. You may want to see where it's headed before you jump aboard.

Now... what is spiritual?
That's a good question. There are plenty of vague and ultra-inclusive definitions out there, but I think they've missed the cultural significance too.
I believe that spiritual means you are searching for something larger than yourself.
In that instance, I'd say I am spiritual. However, the "something larger" than myself I'm searching for is God.
I believe that all people want to identify with something larger than themselves because the alternative is unthinkable...

I'm all alone.
I have no purpose.
yikes.

Unfortunately, some are "looking for love in all the wrong places".
(Bad Waylon Jennings impression)
Many people, I believe, are searching for God, but just don't know it. They seek Him out in the weirdest places. They also won't admit it, because God's been getting a bad rap lately by the squeaky-wheel minority that has decided to speak for the rest of us.
So people have put God, and these idiots, in the same box, and walked away from both.

How did so few end up speaking for so many?

Where was I going with this?
I have no idea, but I guess that's how I communicate. I toss a bunch of thoughts out there and hope you see what's in my heart. That's what I want to show you... my heart.

Let me sum up because this turned out to be longer than I thought.

Mindless religion = bad
Mindless spirituality = bad
Thoughtful and deliberate spirituality = good.

I've found my purpose here on earth. It's to show everyone I can, no matter who they are, that God honestly loves them... no matter who or what they are or who or what they have become.
Jesus died to fix this world that we have broken.
Finally, that we should step outside of ourselves and love God and one another with reckless abandon.

There it is... my heart.

Not for sale...

This is me.
Maybe I'm still on this ranting kick, but I've been reading some blogs lately.
I have to say this... There's something missing from the blogs I've read.

Maybe I'm missing the point of the blog.
My blog is for catharsis as well as communication of my innermost thoughts and inspiration to others.

I've used my blog as an outlet for my emotions as well as a platform from which I attempt to challenge the status quo of religion.

Maybe I'm one of few who use their blog for this purpose.

I guess that's why my blog is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get.
(Lousy Forrest Gump impression)

Now I'm speaking to you blogger...
Don't strategize your blogs so people only see the "interesting and witty" side you, we all know that you're not always interesting and witty. Let's be real, k?

• If you're having a bad day and need to vent, what better place to vent?
• If you had a whack-job dream and think you need a shrink, hey... post your dream. I'll read it!
• If you've realized an interesting nugget about God, I'm begging you, post it! I could use it!
• If you're in dire need to rant and rave about something, rant away... I welcome fiery rhetoric.

What makes a blog boring?
Well, to me, a boring blog is one that lacks wit.
If you're not witty, don't expect me to come back to your blog and keep reading.

In my opinion, the "good" blogs are the ones that have you guessing, "what will I read next?"

Oh yeah, if you can't make a sentence without making a sailor blush, I get a little weary of that too.

Man.. am I pushy or what? I know it's not all about me. But I asked, so I'm answering.
Does that make me MPD?
(Multiple-Personality Disorder)

Well, enough of that. I'm tired.

Straitjacket, anyone?

So I get this email from a friend. She's sent a document published by Last Trumpet Ministries http://www.lasttrumpetministries.org/

Yikes... what a whack job this guy is.

He rambles on and on about how The Chronicles of Narnia is a secret wiccan handbook and how it's movie release was timed with some wiccan ritual.
He says that Promise Keepers is a secret Masonic project... and he has proof too!
He goes on to say that the Passion of the Christ movie was contrived of the devil as well.

Let's see... oh... He's mad at the pastor of Saddleback church because they have concert-style worship services. And the book A Purpose Driven Life... don't get me started.
A direct quote from his webpage says this:

Here are a few more things that Rick Warren has to say. Page 63: “The moment you were born into the world, God was there as an unseen witness, smiling at your birth.” How about Hitler and Stalin, Mr. Warren?

So put simply, this guy is saying that God should have hated Hitler & Stalin from the time they were born.
God loves us all… equally. Regardless of what we do with our lives, His love is ever-present.
Am I saying that God was pleased with Hitler & Stalin's actions? Of course not.
No more than I am pleased with my boys when they are bad, but I still love them.

In the simple truth of of sin, is what Hitler & Stalin did any different than if I cheat on my wife? Or cheat on my taxes? Or hate my brother? Or hate my enemy?

Nope. If sin is sin, then they are no different.

Wow... I just realized something. This guy is the Nooma video's Bullhorn guy.
Rob Bell said it perfectly... the problem with Bullhorn guy is that he and I get painted with the same paintbrush.

So this is me... officially distancing myself from last trumpet ministries' nutjob #1.
( freakshow ) <-----1000 miles---------> ( me )

Can you tell I'm tired of people screaming about God's judgment and thinking that His love is reserved for the fancy pants religious-types that believe exactly like they do?
It's as if they're saying, "God loves me and mine... one day, everyone else will get what they deserve... eternal punishment".

I finally understand why Jesus called us sheep. He calls us sheep because we're stupid, scared little animals that will follow the crowd at the drop of a hat.

Baa baa dumb sheep... have you any brains?
No sir, no sir... I'm on the crazy train.

Should we love God or fear Hell??? I say let's love God instead. It's kooky. It just might work!

End of rant.

What am I doing?

Here I sit. Boys are sleeping. Pam is talking about work. Cats are playing.
I felt like this picture all day.

How do you feel like a picture? I have no idea. But when I look at the picture, I feel like it's me. Rain falling, yet serene and still. It's as if there's no noise. Very peaceful.

I'm sure a shrink would have a field day with that comment, but I don't care.

Read pastor chuck's blog if you get a chance.
Look to the right -->
You'll see it.

So what was I saying? Oh... sitting here quietly at 9:50pm. I think it's time for bed. Had a long day. Justin drove in from McLean. He had business in town and we had lunch at Red Robin.

He's a lot of fun. I can't wait until he and his family move down here.

I think I need to start running again. Yeah. I'm going to run tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe I'll just convert that new VHS interactive tape to DVD so I can watch it while I run.
It's the kind of thing that makes you feel like you're running a trail up a mountain pass. It was only 19 bucks online. It may help motivate me to run longer than downstairs for coffee.

Well, Pam just got up from her laptop & went in the bedroom. That's my queue that it's time to sign off & get some sleep.

ttfn

Is this my life?

Quick phone pic of the cats playing. I'm glad Calvin has a playmate, but I'm a little jealous. He spends all his time with Trinity now.
Oh well, I guess you can't have it both ways.

I just got back from watching King Kong with the family. Heather went with us. She's a lot of fun. It was a good movie. Sad, but good.

So my moment of clarity comes to me while I'm sitting at the table with Pam. I was just eating some triscuits & squeezie cheeze (or whatever it's called) and I look around and tell Pam, "This is our house". She smiles at me and takes a drink of her Pepsi.

I truly wonder why God has chosen to bless us as He has. We have a wonderful house, good jobs, and two wonderful boys... People always tell us how well behaved they are.
I don't think I deserve a life like the one I have.

Please don't misunderstand me... no bragging or boasting here. Everything I have comes from God and God alone. If I had to depend on my own abilities or talents, I'd be sitting on a curb trying to charm a meal out of someone.
I wouldn't have my wife (there went the boys too)
I wouldn't have my job (there went everything else... house, cars, etc)

God is so good. I mean, He'd be good regardless of what I owned or didn't own.
But He's just pretty cool.

Stark contrast time...

I got a call from a friend today... He said his father died today. It broke my heart to hear him. He's so hurt over it. I gave him what comfort and wisdom I could. Pam and I even prayed wit h him and his wife. But I really need to really really pray for him. I'm very proud of what a good man he's become. I try to offer wisdom whenver he calls, but this time, I don't know. It didn't seem to fit.
Some times, you can't offer wisdom or counsel . Some times you just have to sit quietly with someone and cry with them. I think that's what Jesus would do. In a dark time in someone's life, Jesus would probably just sit beside them, put his arm around them, and just be there.
That's what I'd want anyway.
I wouldn't need someone telling me it was gonna be okay. I know it's gonna be okay. I just need someone to be there while I'm sad. Someone to cry with me. Someone to laugh with me. Someone to be with me.

That's the Jesus I love.

But hey... what do I know?

Not so manic Monday.

I love this photo. It's so funny.

Chuck and I had it done in Disneyworld. Just thought I'd share it with anyone who missed it.

So it's 8:37am on Monday (holiday!!!!)
I still have to track my time, but it's going to be a good day.

I woke up and started composing an email to a friend and realized that the vision for New Faith keeps changing a little here and there. I started wondering why, but then it came to me.

The vision for New Faith is fluid. It moves because that's what God does. God is not in a box waiting for us to pop the top and yank Him out, use Him, then put Him back in.

He's moving and shaking things up. He's always showing us we don't have Him "figured out" if we could "figure out" God, then we would be able to control Him. We would learn the "ins and outs" of God... oh wait... that's religion.

Nuff said.

I guess that's the reason why the vision for New Faith has a central theme, but it's always changing a little here and there.

I was saying to my friend that we are a missional-engaging hybrid.
We're missional because we help people outside of our church, not with an agenda to sell them Jesus, but just because we want to help them.
We're missional because we have friends that don't attend church. And they're not evangelism projects. They're just friends. Missional, simply put, is "being Jesus to the world". Loving them just because you love them.

We're engaging because we engage modern culture. Our music is both "Secular" and "Christian". It's funny when I use words like those now... they've both lost their meaning when I refer to music. But that's for another post entirely.

We're engaging because we challenge the belief that people need to believe exactly how we believe in order to get to Heaven.
We're engaging because we realize that people do not need to attend New Faith to believe that God loves them and really desire to love Him back.

I guess that's it... probably not, but that's all I can put into words right now.

How liberating it is to realize you're not the center of the universe.