What are we doing?

Okay. I'm just gonna lay this all out.
Please, nobody freak out on me.

I love helping pastor a church.
I mean it. I really love it.
Watching people reach out to God and watching God grab their hand is something I'll never tire of seeing.

I love music ministry, I love sharing a Sunday morning message once in a while. I love praying with and for people. I love teaching Godly principles to people.

What I don't love is the non-people-related stuff. The hard stuff.
I don't love the "business" of church.
I don't love not knowing whether or not the rent is going to get paid.
I don't love wondering how all this ministry stuff is getting paid for.
I don't love seeing my friends give everything and then have nothing left.

It's stuff like this that makes me feel helpless.

...and alone.

I know all this stuff needs to happen.

I know the building needs to be cleaned and maintained.

I know bills need to be paid.

I just wish all this stuff were easier to manage so we could focus more on the people of New Faith and beyond.

Maybe I'm lacking in faith. Maybe I'm not depending on God enough. Maybe.

God... please remind me how You know what You're doing.

...and then remind me again.

Are you pushing me out of the nest so I can fly?

Or am I trying to fly too early?

Am I just going blind?

Lord, help me see.

Or remind me You see enough for both of us.

Either way, I'll be okay.

iThink iHave been assimilated...

So iFinally did it. On a whim, iDecided that iWould buy an iPod.
iHad a web design job that tossed me some extra cash so iTook the plunge.
It's neat, iGuess iHaven't figured out all the nifty benefits so far, but it makes me wonder...
Why did iBuy it?

Was it so iCould look cool? Was it so iCould be trendy?
My main thought was so iCould watch some movies on the plane to Catalyst Conference next week. If Chuck isn't sleeping on the plane, he'll be reading. Either way, iMight be bored. iCan only read for so long before iGet bored.

iSwore to myself iWould never buy one of these things. iThought they were a waste of money. iDidn't think iNeeded to listen to music or watch videos everywhere iWent.

Great... now I'm wondering... How many things do iDo just to fit in?
iBuy (at least iThink iBuy) trendy clothing, iListen to trendy music. iHave a trendy car.
Is there a line between "being trendy" and "selling out"?

I know there are scriptures that tell me to be "set apart".

But does that mean I have to turn my back on everything?

If so, why?

iThink God isn't asking me to turn my back on all that this world has...

iThink He's asking me to be willing to turn my back on what this world has if it gets in between me and Him.

I'm willing to do that. If things iEnjoy cause me to turn away from God, I'll gladly turn my back on them.

Just help me keep my promise God.

iDon't think iCan do it alone.

Along for the ride

I may have already said this, but I've got something stuck in my head that I would like to share.
When God spoke to Moses about rescuing the Israelites, God never said, "I need you to do something for me".
God never said, "Can you do me a favor?"
He said, "I have heard the cries of my people in bondage".
He said, "I have come down to rescue them."

He then said, "So now go. I am sending you to the Pharoah to bring my people out of Egypt."
It was as if God was saying, "I'm going to do this, and I want you to go along for the ride."
I find that interesting... It's almost like God doesn't need our help.
I remember reading in the bible where God said, "If I were hungry, I wouldn't tell you".

Imagine that.

God doesn't need anything from me.
That's kind of humbling and refreshing at the same time.

At first glance, one could assume that they can go along their merry way and not worry about doing anything God says to do.
The thought of, "Well, God doesn't need me, He'll do it by Himself... I'm off the hook" may spring to mind.
Au contraire mon frair (cheezy French accent).
The truth of the matter is quite the opposite.
God is saying, "I'm involving you in this project because I want you to learn something from it".
He's also saying, "I want to bless you with something, and here's how I'm going to do it".

Honestly, how many of you have truly heard the voice of God tell you to do something and then realize it was a mistake?

Me neither.

Usually when I've tripped on the proverbial carpet like that it's because I "heard" what I wanted to hear instead of what God was saying.

Next time God wants you involved in something, hey... go for it.
Just tell Him you're on board with whatever He wants to do. You'll love the ride.

I dunno... What do you think?

To a friend...

I got some shocking news last night.
One recent addition to the New Faith community passed away.
His name was Brad. In the hustle and flow of New Faith's sudden growth, it has been hard to keep up with all the new folks.

Brad was different. He stood out in the crowd.
I couldn't put my finger on it when we met, but I knew something set him apart.
Maybe it was his Marine Corps background, maybe it was because he was just so genuine.

I wish I could have spent more time with him. I could have known him better. I know I would be better for the experience.

Brad came to our special gathering last Thursday.
Normally, Thursday nights are for teaching & discipleship, but we decided to do a Sunday-like gathering on Thursday, then skip Sunday morning to spend time with our families & friends.

While we were doing the music, I could feel something different. It was as if God was saying, "Today is even more special than you can understand or feel".
Even though I enjoyed God's extra-special presence, I had no idea what was really going on.
I found out last night that Brad gave his heart to Jesus that Thursday night.
I also found out that Brad said something almost prophetic that Thursday.
Pastor Chuck was talking about "civilized Christianity" and how it has caused a lot of Christians to settle for the mediocre lives the world is offering. Brad said, "There's no way to civilize me anymore..." He also said he was never going to miss another Sunday service.

How right you are Brad. You're with Jesus now and every day is Sunday.

It's amazing how quickly people can find a place in your heart.
Normally, I wouldn't be as emotionally effected by the passing of someone I'd only met casually... only a few times in passing. I can't explain it. Is God changing me or was Brad just that special?

Hopefully, it's a little of both.

New New New!!!

I got a new blogger template. What do you think?
I think I'm going to try & make my own one day.
It doesn't look easy, but I may be mistaken.

Pam started her new job yesterday. For the moment, she's working from home. She and her co-worker are working out of the theater room. I set up all the PCs in there so she could do database work.

We also got a new problem. Nothing big. The washing machine sprung a leak last night about 10pm.
We cleaned it up, but couldn't find the source of the leak.
After closer inspection, it turned out that the direct drive pump (chunk of plastic underneath) had one of those plastic bubbles that broke open. It looks like a bubble that was created when the plastic was being molded.
I jammed some waterproof pipe repair epoxy in there & we're gonna see how it goes.

I also got my car back from the shop. 'Cept the speedometer doesn't work now.
I called them up & they said they'd fix it in 3 minutes. I just have to bring it out to them.

Adventures!!!

You know... If it weren't for bad moments, most of us wouldn't have fun stories to tell.
Have you ever noticed that?
The best stories you hear are usually based on someone's harrowing experience.

I guess it's good that we have rough patches in life. They make for funny stories.

Next time you're going through a rough patch, just think to yourself...

"Man... This is gonna be a funny story one day."

Unfaithful

I was thinking more about my memories.
I don't know why I can't get past this.

I've realized that they're there for a reason, so why not go with it.

I remember my first heartbreak.
Her name was Elizabeth Nelson and I was 16 years old.

We broke up and she started dating my best friend, Fred. They broke up and we started dating again. We're talking young dating, nothing serious (now) but back then, my heart was totally in it.
She and I were walking by his house and she decided to stop in and talk with him "privately". Being foolish, I told her it was fine. I went back to my house and waited for her.
And waited.
And waited.
The next day, my friend Fred shows up to school with a hickey on his neck.
I was devastated. I had no understanding of why they would do this to me.
I can still remember the pain I felt... The betrayal.

For some reason, I thought of this last night and God spoke to me through it and said, "This is how I feel when you're unfaithful to me."

The pain of that betrayal all came back at once. It was as if God wanted me to remember exactly how it feels when you're cheated on.

Now try to imagine how deeply God loves us... So much more than we're ever going to be capable of loving.
When we're unfaithful to God in thought, word, or deed, God's pain must be unbearable.
I don't want to be unfaithful to God. I don't want to repay all his love with betrayal.
I don't want to give God pain in exchange for the joy, peace, and love He's given me.

Lord, you are more faithful than I... Help me stay faithful to you.